We warn them their experiment could bust up everything , but they would n’t listen . The BBC were determined to push foward with the godforsaken experiment of set Torchwood on the wireless , in defiance of all the laws of physics and common gumption . Did the population implode ? Well , no . Did we bid it would , so we could stop listening to this fiddle-faddle ? Kind of . We hear the special Large Hadron Collider - themed Torchwood receiving set instalment … and lived . Maybe . Radio spoilers ahead . “ Lost Souls ” did n’t really have to be this spoiled . I mean , Doctor Who has hold out on the tuner without becoming a crazy mime . ( Well , the Jon Pertwee radio dramas were pretty dromedary - ish , I guess . But some of the bighearted Finish sound are somewhat respectable . ) Somehow , everybody involved in this production receive the same memoranda , the one that said , “ Nobody can see you , so you have to act REALLY BROADLY to verify everyone catch a genial image . ”
So I opine at least it ’s estimable that there was a sort of report here , which is dealing with the aftermath of Tosh and Owen ’s dying at the end of season two . Does this mean everyone will have make a motion on at the start of the truncated season three ? We can only hope . really , the real paper of this instalment seemed to be : “ Martha Jones is a busy - body . ” I lost count of how many scenes there were when someone is supposed to be examining a glowing extradimensional - flak dupe or crawl through a scary particle tunnel , and Martha keeps intercept them to delve into their feelings . The squad is trying to salvage the world from being eat by evil Higgs Boson monsters , and Martha is like , “ This is a perfect meter to deal your feelings . Come on , open up up ! Let it all out ! ” I started wanting to call her Deanna Jones .
And then of course , it turns out the Higgs Boson devil are really telepathic nasties who impersonate the ghosts of the dead , and they pretend to be the ghosts of Tosh , Owen and Ianto ’s glam - rockcyberwoman girlfriend Lisa . Somebody demand to get those extradimensional aliens an acting coach . As unsound as the human thespian were , the aliens were even bad . “ Yooo hyooomans ! So often undo by luuuvvv ! Dream of it in the void , be ready to espouse the Dark Times ! We ’re backkkk ! We ’re athirst ! ! ! ” Hyooomans ! ! ! ! Ha ha yeah . I did n’t in reality understand what was presuppose to be fall out in this episode , honestly . There was a tunnel ( even with their illimitable power to show anything on the radio receiver , it ’s still a tunnel ) and neutron - eating monster , who can only consume neutrons from humans for some reason , and there ’s a obscure building where beam people are being prevent prisoner because a UNIT officeholder guess they ’re angels … and meanwhile the Large Hadron Collider is EEEEEVIL !
That ’s really what redeemed this installment for me . I figured , with a special LHC tie-up - in , they would go the secure itinerary and say , “ Well , of course the LHC is wonderful and not at all serious , and science is good for you . ” But no ! It turn out the LHC really is a disaster waiting to happen , and if we switch it on , it will open a portal to another universe , where the neutron eating monsters will pullulate and use up all our neutron . I loved the part where Captain Jack bursts in and says : “ I ’m ORDERING you to shut down the Large Hadron Collider ! ” and the scientist is all like , “ but you ’re just the assistant to the Welsh Ambassador . ” ( And that was a curious running gag , by the style . ) And then we have 20 minute of harebrained physics babble . Did anybody with an literal physics backdrop hear to this audio ? And did your head stay integral ? I ask to know exactly how farcical all the stuff towards the last was , especially when Jack is like , “ We can vacate the polarity , ” and the scientist lady is like , “ appear ! It ’s an anti - proton ! ” And then they see the Higgs Boson and Jack says “ permit ’s have a baby ! ” in reality , listening to Jack explicate the LHC in the beginning in the show , and making it vocalise really obscene , was a big plus as well . There are these molecule , and they RAM together , and then there ’s a BIG BANG , etc . etc . I was surprised quite how much of Jack ’s raunchy side oozed out of the radio , what with all of the input about many - handed Venusians , etc . So , all in all , if you ’re one of the the great unwashed who enjoys Torchwood for it ’s “ so bad it ’s good ” moment , then this is belike the coronate glory of your world . Unlike the TV show , which now and then did extend to “ actually good ” status , I ca n’t see any other understanding to listen to this . you may listen to it here : [ BBC , thanks RRich ]
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