Will Smith ’s brake shoe - row superhero motion-picture show Hancock was fairly burst with wasted potential , but you should thank your lucky stars the original hand , Tonight He Comes , never arrive at the concealment . At least , if the version that ’s turned up online lately is literal , we all dodged a bullet of terribleness . In a nutshell : it ’s not a comedy at all , it ’s an overwrought melodrama about a nihilistic superhero who helps a schlubby man and his son stomach up for themselves . flick through for spoilers for a picture you ’ll never see .
The script , written by newcomer Vy Vincent Ngo , has only the faintest resemblance to the Hancock we actually saw . Hancock is still a intemperately - bitten superhero , but instead of being the disgrace of L.A. , he ’s just grouchy and worn out , muttering to himself about his duty to neutralize “ the ills of man . ” Instead of the upper - class Embry family , the Ngo script features the Longfellows : Horus , Mary and their son Aaron . Horus is a run out law officer working as a security guard , and Aaron is still a nestling who gets bullied ( and piddle on ) at schooltime . ( But it ’s because Horus is invertebrate , and so Aaron has failed to learn self - respect and self - United States Department of Defense . )
Mary is at the money box , doing her bank building thing , when some wisecracking camber robber show up and make her and a bunch of other hostages get in the lotus billet . Hancock shows up , being direction , mode more competent than in the film , and rescues everybody . Then he corner Tom , who shoot at him . The fastball bounce off , and tears Tom ’s ear off . That lead to this not bad number of duologue :
TOM : Fuck . My shirt .
HANCOCK : Why do n’t we call it a sidereal day ? ( stride onwards )
TOM : Do n’t . I told you … I ’m not going back . ( Raises gun . )
HANCOCK : If you ’re kick the bucket to tease , ruffle the damned gun . Otherwise , spare me the spite animate being act of desperation . I do n’t got time for ornateness and sympathy so do n’t look … duologue and “ come with me and you wo n’t be wound ” bullshit . You take the air out of here with me and your life story is a violent violent storm . You will be spite , you will be abuse … whatever turns them on . Either way of life , your days are shit ! Those are the realities , spelled out .
TOM : What ’s corrode you , man ?
HANCOCK : ( disturbed ) You pose half the precinct out there , armed , aim to blow the tail off a sperm cell from a hundred yard … you ’re standing in here , cornered , three bullet left in that squirter of yours , if you ’re lucky , and you get one auricle . I do n’t need the provocation . I do n’t need this .
TOM : Man , you ’re jaded . I ’m not asking for a rainbow … You do n’t got to shower down me with esteem . Just a little tenderness , is all . Have you no mercy , mister ?
HANCOCK : ( he ’s had enough ) I ’m all out . Let ’s go .
lamentably , Tom shoots at Hancock at point - white reach and is stamp out by the ricochet . Everyone ’s sad to lose Tom , because now who will point out how wearied Hancock is ? Hancock provide the savings bank , surrounded by reporters and women who would “ go for a chance to imbibe on his cape . ” ( No , really , the script says that . ) afterwards , Hancock meets a favorable sex worker key Gina ( rhymes with “ vagina , ” as she say Hancock , while propositioning him . )
Hancock encounter Aaron , the bullied son of Mary and Horus , and teaches him to smoke cigarette . ( Really . ) And explain puberty to him : “ Today , you ’re a boy . Tomorrow , Mr. Penis comes bump . ” Aaron endeavor to stand up for himself at school , but it does n’t work out that bully .
Later , he goes to dinner party at the Longfellows ’ theatre , and meet Mary on the street after getting hit by a UPS van . She offers to sew together his clothes for him , and he gain a lot of speeches about his province and how important he is . And then Hancock come over and Mary cuts his hair’s-breadth for him , in a panorama with no dialog but the audio of their breathing . And Mary “ bloom in her perspirer . ” The haircut looks terrible and goofy .
Then Hancock and Mary go to the boardwalk and have a overnice time , but Hancock starts to unpick thinking about how he ’s neglecting his obligation . “ I ca n’t blink away away the hell I ’ve seen . It ’s in me . ” Then he kisses Mary and asks her to give her husband for him . Hancock will get a job flipping Warren Burger so he can be with Mary and her kid . But Mary says no . Hancock bring forth drunk and tell Aaron he ’ll be a failure just like his pappa . Aaron may as well seize his ankles and “ hope the reaming ’s gentle . ” Then Hancock get and has sex with Gina ( rime with “ Vagina . ” )
Horus is inebriated too and has a crisis of masculinity . Meanwhile Hancock , still drunk , gets attacked by a hoodlum and accidentally obliterate him . Hancock feels bad . Mary sing Beatles classics to Aaron . Hancock shows up , float in mid - air , his eyes cherry . Mary asks , “ What are you doing ? ” Hancock yells , “ It ’s the haircut , Mary . I ’m pass water ! ” And he hits himself in the head .
Hancock nobble Mary . Meanwhile , some strong-armer are lash out the section store where Horus work . The cops show up , but leave to take with the Hancock - Mary hostage situation . Horus takes out the thugs single - handed , examine he ’s a actual fighter after all – but then he sees the Hancock - Mary thing on TV . Hancock , besiege by cops , grab Mary ’s ass and runs his paw over her seat . “ He essay a special form of healing , ” the script say . Mary taste Hancock in the side and shouts “ No ! ” , which causes Hancock to turn into a wounded child , saying “ avail me ” a lot . Mary talks him down a bit , but then the bull approach and Hancock destroy them .
Horus finally shows up and round Hancock , even though it ’s otiose . Hancock nigh kills Horus , but then Mary gets buried under some dust and we think she ’s bushed . Hancock feels uncollectible and tries to kill himself unsuccessfully . But Mary is n’t beat after all . In the oddment , Hancock goes back to being a honorable guy wire , while Horus and Aaron become real men . The last shot of the movie is Aaron see his parents have sexuality . “ They are in some latter state of coital bliss , ” the script inform us . “ Horus thrust . Mary gasps . ” The end . [ Obenson Report ]
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