You ’ve in all likelihood heard the idiomatic expression " what does n’t kill you make you hard " , either from Kelly Clarkson or Nietzsche . In both versions , and as the phrase is now generally used , it basically means you get stronger by facing hard knocks .
" It ’s become almost like a ethnical touchstone , " Eranda Jayawickreme , a psychologist who hasresearched"post - traumatic growth"told Hidden Brain . " It ’s almost like a default attitude towards hurt that we believe that when bad thing happen we are endure to use it as an opportunity to become better . "
But is there any verity behind the phrase ? Well , it ’s complicated , and even if there is some truth behind it , it still might not be helpful as concept , according to Jayawickreme .
Some research has advise that development ( and more satisfaction with relationships ) , as well as an melioration in self - esteem , can come aftertraumatic events .
" A positive trend has been find for ego - esteem , positivist relationships , and command in prospective studies after both incontrovertible and negative event , " wrote the authors of a paper published in theAmerican Psychological Association .
" We found no worldwide evidence for the widespread conviction that negative life event have a stronger effect than positive ones . No genuine growth was found for meaning and spirituality . In the majority of studies with control groups , results did not importantly take issue between outcome and control radical , indicating that changes in the effect variables can not simply be impute to the occurrence of the investigated life events . "
One of the problems with inquiry into the area is you ca n’t ( unless yougo back to the other 1900s and crack on ) induce trauma in your subjects . This means that you are relying on the store of subject about their pre - trauma life-time in ordering to get your data , asking them to self - rate how they are now vs how they were before .
One group of researchers got around this , by essentially keeping the subject area going long enough for injury to pass off . In a survey put out inPsychological Science , researchers asked 1,200 undergraduate scholar – chosen because they were " at the peak age for trauma exposure " – to fulfill in a range of questionnaires designed to assess expiation around areas of life thought to be bear upon by traumatic event .
They then look two month , before give the student the same questionnaire , as well as a questionnaire around spirit upshot that had bump in the intervening time , and a distinctive post - traumatic outgrowth questionnaire postulate participant about change to themselves following the traumatic experiences . This last questionnaire included paygrade statements such as ‘ ‘ I have a greater notion of self - reliance ’’ and ‘ ‘ I have a dandy sense of intimacy with others " .
In the months between the stages of the study , 122 of the pupil had experienced a highly - traumatic event ( one example given by the researchers is " a close friend killed by a drunk machine driver " ) and had rated those events as having have extreme hurt .
" It would be inappropriate to reason out from our findings that people can not transfer in confident way following threaten life experiences , " the team wrote in their discussion . " Indeed , a comparatively low proportion of our participant demonstrated factual modification , although we have no means of knowing if this modification can be attributed to their traumatic experience . "
However , looking at the measures of satisfaction around life collected at both stages of the study , there was small correlation coefficient between perceive growth by the participant and improvement in these psychological measures .
" All of this intimate that retrospective report of growing measure something dissimilar from genuine pre to post trauma modification , " they added .
As well as not being clear - abbreviate , it ’s potential the concept of " what does n’t defeat you makes you solid " could be harmful to multitude who have recently experienced injury .
" Think about what it communicate : Suffering is honorable in the long run , and people who have have trauma are stronger than those who have n’t , " Jayawickreme and fellow psychologist Frank J Infurna wrote in a piece on the topic forThe Conversation . Those who are still shin month or years after a traumatic event may experience " debile " if they have n’t experienced the same " growth " , they add .
" People can indeed grow from adversity . They can become stronger , amend the quality of their relationship and increase their ego - esteem . But it probably does n’t happen nearly as often as most mass and some researchers trust . "
" Nor should growth be thought of as a goal for everyone . For many people , just have back to where they were before the harm may be an ambitious enough goal . "
[ H / T : BBC ]