Nearly a year afterKim Porter‘s tragic death,Sean “Diddy” Combsstill has her on his mind.
In the shot, only Porter’s dark silhouette could be seen as she sat with her back against the bright sun and held up her hands to cup the light. Behind her, a gorgeous scene of water and palm trees was featured.
Keeping it simple, Combscaptioned the image: “❤️ @ladykp”
Porterdied of lobar pneumoniaon Nov. 15 in her Toluca Lake, Calif. home after suffering from flu-like symptoms for days.
Insiders previously told PEOPLE that Combs held a memorial for Porter on Nov. 18 at his home in Bel Air, California. Among the 100 guests present wereKim Kardashian,Mary J. Blige,French Montana, andKourtney Kardashian.
The on-again, off-again couple, who began dating in the ’90s, shared three kids together — son Christian, 21, and twin daughters Jessie James, 12, and D’Lila, 12. (The pair also had children from past relationships — Porter was the mother to sonQuincy, 28, while Combs has son Justin, 25, and daughter Chance, 13.)
In 1999,Combs and Porter broke upand battled in court over child support for Christian. Combs then datedJennifer Lopezfor two years before he and Porter reconciled in 2003. They split for the final time in 2007.
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
The day after Porter’s death, a sourcetold PEOPLE: “Diddy is devastated and shocked. He and Kim were still very close friends and co-parents even though their romantic relationship didn’t work. They were still a family.”
Another source close to Combs said that he is “is very muchstruggling.”
“This is the most awful, sad and unreal situation for him. It’s a nightmare,” the source continued. “He isn’t sleeping. He always had a very special relationship with Kim. Despite not being together romantically, he loved Kim. It was really true love, and he is hurting badly right now.”
Combsbroke his silence for the first time after her death on Nov. 17,writing on Instagram, “For the last three days I’ve been trying to wake up out of this nightmare. But I haven’t.”
Kim Porter with Sean “Diddy” Combs and their children.Charley Gallay/Getty Images
Since then, he has continued to honor his ex’s life, in bothtributes on social mediaand speaking out during interviews.
In the May issue ofEssence, Combs revealed he’s beena lot more involved with his familybecause he knows that’s something Porter would want.
“Before this, I was a part-time father, you know? My family was always first, but there are countless times when I chose work over everything else,” he explained. “But every day I can hear her telling me to go and spend some time with the kids and make sure everybody’s all right, like she would do. I’m just a lot more present, and, most important, now my kids come before anything else in my life.”
Though their grief will never go away, Combs said the family is doing “really well.”
“We have a great family … the way we’re handling it together,” he said. “We’re doing really because her passing has changed us and made us love each other more. I’m happy to say that, because at first I really didn’t know how we’d be doing.”
“Because of Kim, we’re doing this well, because of the way she loved us,” he added.
source: people.com
